BINGO

not just for christmas, forever.

"After all, you cant truly be happy if you've never known pain. You cant truly feel joy if you've never felt heartbreak. You cant really know what it's like to be filled unless you've been empty"

i watched the dreamers tonight

i happen to think

it means more to you than you know.

today is friday.

i managed to come across a girl on lower abbey street wearing a pair of vivienne westwood ankle wellies. she was smoking. i wanted to mob her of life, and the wellies. they were beige with black bows. why would anyone on abbey street be wearing these beauties. i just could not understand. i still cant.

i haven't worn perfume in days

i keep thinking you'll show up at my door and surprise me. my mind is playing tricks and i can hear your car outside.
i've been dreaming of us having so much fun together, just like we used to. laughing and kissing in the grass.
it's so hard to not hear your voice everyday, and i miss you terribly.
i love you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HThCnCjikQ

Please don't say we're done
When I'm not finished
I could give you so much more
Make you feel, like never before
Welcome, they said welcome to the floor

It's been a while
And you've found someone better
But I've been waiting too long to give this up
The more I see, I understand
But sometimes, I still need you

Sometimes, I still need you

I was struggling to get in
Left waiting outside your door
I was sure
You'd give me more

No need to come to me
When I can make it all the way to you
You made it clear
You weren't near
Near enough for me

Heart skipped a beat
And when I caught it you were out of reach
But I'm sure, I'm sure
You've heard it before

Well... they should?

When was the last time I posted? Seriously? April 1st feels like so long ago. Alot has happened that I can't begin to explain because it wouldn't make sense to me, it would hurt if I did. I don't want to hurt, not right now. I want to get on with whatever is happening, and I want things to progress and get so much better. I think they will. I've been told I should be so positive during this time, and I agree completely. But I can't help being scared. It would be heartless to not be scared. Or just plain strange. I have also been told I should see someone, an 'expert'. Why would I speak to a stranger about what I'm feeling when I can barely speak to the people I love? I don't know what is right anymore.
My friends who I wouldn't have seen alot of before, have completely stepped up to their roles and I am so grateful for that. Others have drifted, which has astounded me completely, considering they were the ones who said they would be there, as I have been for them. It's so funny because my everyday acquaintances know nothing of this blog, and would more than likely never read it. You all know who you are, I'm sure.

I wore sandals today...

I have also been listening to Kelis and The XX alot. One which is upbeat and uplifting, and another which is one of the most upsetting/amazing albums I have ever heard. I'm happy they've been the soundtrack to the hard times I've been having so far. I've had a bit to drink so I should finish up.

Out x

Everyone feels like this sometimes, don't they?